December Seventeenth already and days are flying by the nights get longer and colder but then the day comes too fast to even blink. People are gathering all the things for Christmas but that’s the least of their worries most people spend half their time thinking of the past and I’m one of those people, every year I find my self thinking of things that could’ve, should’ve, would’ve done but then I tell others to just drop it it’s I the past move on but yet there I am being a hypocrite, I hate hypocrites and yet I’m being one, that makes me so pissed of so I have decided to make a couple of new year’s resolutions just as everyone else does, but how many people really go through with theirs? I was never one to go through with it and now that’s going to change when 2013 comes to an end so will the old life of regrets.
The best part of celebrating the new year aren’t the parties, the booze, the music and dancing, it isn’t the fear of starting fresh or letting go, it’s not even the midnight kiss everyone so desperately wants in fact it’s more than that it’s saying goodbye all while saying hello to the new YOU the new year has a reason for it’s meaning this is the time where you finally get to revive yourself and become who your born to be, stop trying to find your self because your already found, stop hiding yourself because your born to be seen, start talking because your voice need’s to be heard if you find your self giving advice take it as well don’t just let it pass because there is a reason you said it, and open your eyes to the world and things around you and just LIVE.
Some of my new years resolutions are a bit intense for me not because they are impossible but because they are possible and I believe I can actually do them and I have a whole year to succeed on them, sure it might take a while but that’s what life is a while but if you just sit there nothing will work. I have four main resolutions this year and I’m going to do what ever it takes to make it happen.
New Years Resolution #1: Start loving myself the way I am.
I need to start realizing I am beautiful in my own way not everyone might see it but there are tons who do and I need to take credit for it, I know I’m not fat but I know I’m not skinny either. I do have some chubbiness I’m not too proud of but I have seen millions of bigger people out there and I’m not even close to being that size I’m small enough to still lose the weight so even if I do or not I need to believe I’m beautiful no matter what because I AM ME.. there’s never going to be anyone like me ever even if I had a twin she would never be like me.
New Years Resolution #2: Start living by the quote Y.O.L.O. (you only live once)
Because it’s true you only live once one day you can be standing in front of a river smiling the next you would be stone cold getting buried in your grave. I can’t keep living by what if’s , I need to live by Just do it, if you don’t you might regret it and regret isn’t something I want to say my life was about. I want to be able to say I had a life full of adventures and surprises, I want to se the world the way it’s meant to be seen not from hiding behind a bookshelf alone or afraid, because that’s not me.
New Years Resolution #3: Write in a diary, again!
Being a writer and knowing how it’s feels to struggle with depression I have all sorts of feelings good bad and well really messed up but don’t we all? Yes but when I was in a dark place my writing is what kept me going no matter what I wrote I always felt better even if it was a poem, a story, a journal/diary entry anything and everything I did had effects on my body physically and emotionally and I have been writing but being a writer is so much more than what most think of. I have the choice to separate my personal life from my career or even interconnect it if I want but sometimes my life is just too personal for others to know and for me to share and I once had a diary that held my most valued secrets but once I hit rock bottom I decided to share those thoughts but that’s my choice. it’s ok to not talk to someone all the time about your life that’s why you have the diary, all it was is paper with ink melted into it with your eyes the only one’s reading and sometimes it feels better that way.
New Years Resolution #4: Save money.
You might think oh that’s easy especially when your young but in reality it’s not so simple. being young has nothing to do with saving money I spend way too much, yeah I have bills I’m going to be Nineteen for Christ sakes but I don’t have tons of bills I have my debit visa to pay of, I have a lap top to pay, a cell phone, a buss pass a monthly bank fee, and some rent for now but I spend too much once I pay those things I buy food, clothes and junk things I don’t really need but I buy them anyway, some say might as well do it now before you can’t, which is true it’s just I can’t I do it too often so this year I’m going to start putting money away for school, and a gym member ship and even money away to get my own place.
See new years doesn’t have to have a load of resolutions it doesn’t even have to have four it could be just one but it has to be the one you really can go along with, most people I know say they want to lose weight, quite smoking or even worse fall in love and almost 75 percent of those people never go through with it, I was one of those people but now I realize I need to start small and work my way up starting with things I really want to do than need to do because its the want that succeeds more than the need. Happy new year everyone have a great one, and I’m being serious…. 🙂